Author: farooq Page 20 of 45

Gratitude

On January 8, 2017

We are all selfish creatures. The Humans. Whenever we do something for others, its always is to make us happy. We are all seeking a little bit of gratitude whenever we do something for others. Sure, we don’t always expect a favor to be returned. But it is that innate desire to feel how thankful the other person is, which is what gratitude is, is omnipresent.

It doesn’t matter how big or small our gesture is, but if we’ve made an effort to do something, the tendency is to expect a wee bit of gratitude.

And it doesn’t mean saying, “Thank You”.

I’m never going to send a Thank you card to my parents. But yes, I can try to make them feel that I am thankful to them. It is through our gestures that can speak volumes than a thank you.

The feeling, when you’ve done something for a person, and they don’t seem to have an ounce of gratitude, is baffling! You understand this only when you experience it. And then, you question yourself as well, whether you’ve ended up giving this same awful feeling to someone else ?

I’ve not talked with one of my best friends for over a year. He simply stopped talking. On repeatedly calling him as well, he never answered why he never wanted to talk to me. It took me a while then to realize that I wasn’t grateful enough for the friendship.

I know this above incident sounds cheesier. But well, True Story.

I’m about to end this post here and if you’re looking for a “lesson” as part of a conclusion, well I don’t have one.

Go Figure

Let’s stop blaming

By farooq

On January 7, 2017

In Politics & Social Issues

I’ve been trying to articulate a lot of things over the last week to say something about what happened in Bangalore on New Year’s Eve. And no matter how hard I tried, the words were just not coming out right. There’s nothing I could add that hasn’t been said before. I wrote this piece 4 years back (Read here: https://reveringthoughts.com/2013/01/05/story-of-india-apples-and-oranges/) and I guess I’ll be writing similar things decades later as well.

Irrespective of how guilty we might feel on what happened that night or countless other nights or even during daytime. There doesn’t seem to be one solution for this. Unless you are someone who can blame women for wearing or not wearing a particular type of clothes or blaming the police for “not doing their job” or It is because of “outsiders,” there doesn’t seem to be a practical solution to it all.

People sharing or debating, #NotAllMen or #AllMen are stupid. If no one else told you about it, then here I am shouting, You are effing stupid.

The problem lies in our Men. The problem lies in our Women. The problem lies in our Movies. The Problem lies in our Books. And how all of these varied sets of elements shape our psychology, where the actual problem lies.

If you’re wondering Why, and you think just one of the above can is to be blamed, then the problem lies there as well.

Yes, I’ll tell you why.

Let me explain.

1. Lack of Sex education:

In a country obsessed with marriages and the excellent ideas of marriage and producing babies and showing them off as “Achievement” in daily report cards, surprisingly sex education is a No-No. Leave aside politicians, who are “preserving culture,” even when we are the land of Kamasutra, and our temples have imagery to educate people of this. [khajurao, Konark being the prominent examples]. As parents, how many have talked about it with their teenage kids? Is it okay to let your kids get all sorts of stupid ideas about sex from strangers or their peers, who are as confused as them?!

Talk to them! Yes, it’s going to be awkward. But find a way!

2. The fear of the Unknown:

Menstruation. Sanitary pads. Condoms.

Yes, I know you cannot say those words out loud. It’s a taboo.

Stop it from being a taboo. Don’t fear to speak about these. We are in 2017, for God’s sake! Make it the new normal!

3. Women, stand for each other!

No, I’m not telling you to be Feminazi!

Stop judging each other! Yes, men are dogs, but can you stop being bitchy about each other?!

Only If I had a penny every time a girl called the other a “slut” for the dress or “Fat” as of it is derogatory!

If you define each other with that, what do you expect men who already have a “superior sense of being” from the time the universe was formed, to do?

4. Men, Call out your Asshole friends

Yes. We all have those “friends.”

I know we all have online stalked someone, at some point, or even stood out there outside to catch a glimpse of our crushes. We’ve also tried to talk to or become “friends” with them to move things forward. We can all blame it on movies in the 80s and 90s or the countless “examples,” we’ve seen in front of us, but we’ve done it on some levels. We all can change for the better, right ?!

We also know of people who have crossed lines when doing this and it’s high time we tell them. If we are those people, we should say to ourselves.

Let’s not think it’ll be “Uncool” and just call out that shit. Shall we?

5. Dear Women, learn to say, NO clearly!

Dear women, men find you attractive. They are going to approach you, talk to you, ask you for a date or maybe “for dinner or coffee or a movie.” Don’t make stupid excuses, just say NO! Don’t assume it’ll hurt them or you’ll appear rude or anything, just politely say No, if you don’t want to go. Sure, you’d want some of them to be your friends, but as soon as you sense something else, just cut them off. Yes, be rude.

6. And Dear Men, learn to “Back off”!

Men, just have a little self-respect. Will you ?!

Sure, I’m not trying to be preachy and ranting all this to prove that I’ve not done anything wrong. All of this applies to me as well. I’m sure, even I, along with the entire men folk, ogle at women at some point. And please, let’s just not blame the men for doing that, a “shirtless-Salman Khan” isn’t yesterday’s product! We’ve fancied the scantily clad “sexiness” in a lot of item numbers and a lot of other things under the hood. But let’s not try shifting blame onto politicians, films, Men and most probably not on Women and learn to realize our mistakes and improve on them. It’s a new year, after all!

The problems with letting things go

By farooq

On January 6, 2017

In Random Philosophy

I’ve been living in some sort of mess since the past 6 months. The place was far from being clean and was slowly turning into one of those cliched guy-apartments. Things were “kept” at ease. The carton boxes were kept on one side as I wanted to induldge in some DIY in my free time. Frankly speaking, there was a lot of free time available at my disposal. I’ve never felt this lazy in years. Sorry, being lazy is a wrong choice of word, it was more of being at supreme rest.

That’s how life was. With lots of boxes on one side of the hall and empty pizza boxes on the other.

And then, my sisters ended up visiting my place, just for ONE day! Actually, less than a day. And Bam! It all changed. Those DIY dreams were trashed and sent over to the terrace. They are still sun-bathing, btw.

Anyways, what the whole reason for writing is to explain to you about those empty carton boxes and my life. Yes, sorry for the long background. But the, that’s me. I have this constant urge of explaining things!

I could have thrown those boxes long back. Knowing very well that I’m not going to do shit! But then, I have a problem of not being able to let go of materialistic things. Probably people too, but that’s a revering thought for some other night.

I have this habit of collecting garbage. Literally.

Even old clothes, which I know I won’t fit in, still take space in my cupboard. Can someone please come and steal them ?!

I love nostalgia like the average retard, but sometimes I take it to the extreme. Just for that one moment of “Ahhaaa.. those were the days”, I still have all my scrapbooks and a lot of other silly stuff. Why? Good question.

Even my Computer drive is filled with Article drafts for years, even when I’m pretty sure of not completing those outdated topics to write.

I guess I’ll have to dive a little deeper to find reasons for my stupidities. What say ?

Storytelling

By farooq

On January 5, 2017

In Random Philosophy

The storytelling style in a lot of people, based on where they are from, varies. But what remains common is, how easily they take names of people, about whom we have no idea about, and use them in the stories. It’s fascinating. Not only from a story-telling stand-point but also how when they do this repeatedly, those very people become part of our own memories.

If we end up meeting people from those stories, there’s already a mental image appearing in front our eyes. And some of them are so accurate in their description that you feel yourself wondering, “Wow, this guys is exactly like that!” with a tinkle in your eyes.

All my sisters have this habit of using names in their stories. So, when I finally end up meeting their friends, acquaintances or even the people they despise, there’s a tiny switch that gets clicked.

I want to acquire this skillset to help in whatever little writing I do. More often than not, I find myself either talking in 3rd person or just being a narcissist on other times. That character-development technique is something I should get myself trained in.

Hopefully, with my sister now living with me, whatever little time we’ll find without fighting with each other, can be used in learning this. And yes, in making those Round chappatis, as well.

A Different Stroke

By farooq

On January 4, 2017

In Sports

When people ask me, “So.. Where are you from ?”. On hearing Jamshedpur, in case they look perplexed I add on “Jharkhand” to answer. Each time, that confused look on their faces change to a slight elation, and they go like, “Oh.. Dhoni’s state”.

Thank you for Putting our state on the Map.

The news of MS stepping down isn’t shocking. It was expected. Captains in the Indian Cricket Team follow the same trajectory. Would have loved to watch him lead the team in the next world cup before stepping down, but well, not everything can be perfect as we wish it to be. Right?

I wrote this “Fan-letter” when he retired from Test Cricket and when I reread it, the emotions don’t seem to change a bit. Or to this post I wrote on his Birthday, which I rehash every year btw can tell you a lot.

MS made everyone proud. Sure, he has his share of haters as well, who might be elated at this news as well. Of course, To each his own.

Dhoni isn’t just about the Cricket he played. He’s every small-town boy’s (or girl) icon on dreaming of making something of themselves. When you watch the movie, MS Dhoni, which is, of course, dramatized to an extent, you’ll see the thought process of us, the small-towners. The makers never had to exaggerate that! Dhoni is just one famous example.

I’m sure we’ll get to see more of you as a batsman without the burden of captaincy. I don’t know if you’ll get back to your pre-captaincy swashbuckling self or maintain the captaincy cool. Or maybe a different stroke, altogether?

Here’s to a great 2017, MS!

Reference Points

By farooq

On January 3, 2017

In Random Philosophy

Just finished watching Ok Kanmani on Netflix for the nth time. Apart from the leads, there’s a story of an elderly couple where one of them suffers from forgetfulness. There’s a scene towards the end where the lead couple resolve their differences by asking each other whether they’ll be able to love and live like another elderly couple.

It’s interesting how we are always looking for reference points to make a leap. The decision could be anything, but we feel more comfortable when there’s a reference point.

Is it about keeping it as a goal ? Or as they call it, “Relationship Goals” ? While talking to a friend, we ended up discussing about a mutual couple and how their life is like Hashtag Relationship Goal for her. And yes, the couple is adorably cute and I cannot blame her or anyone for thinking that way. There are tons of other Hashtag Goals. Traveling goals being the net big thing.

What’s it that entices us to look at someone else or their lives or what they do and see ourselves doing that? Why that is our reference point ?

The books we read, the movies we watch and the amazing people we meet, each bring to us a certain lifestyle and mindset which we want to achieve. Ofcourse, there can be another set of people who might despise those very things. Be it the movies, the books or the people and try to run away from that life choice.

If we think in-depth, we’ll realize that we’ve always been like this. All our life choices has been based on a few reference points or a culmination of many others. When we see others we see the good we want to see. The reality might be different from what it appears but our viewpoint is what can shape our own reality.

Top 10 Bollywood movies for 2016

By farooq

On January 2, 2017

In Movies & Entertainment

Here’s my list of top 10 Bollywood movies for the year 2016!

Bollywood had an average year as far as blockbuster successes are concerned. But I am happy that most filmmakers tried to come up with something new. Hope to see more of that effort work its way in 2017 as well.

[Here’s last year’s list of Top10 Bollywood movies]

10. Udta Punjab:

Abhishek Chaubey’s Udta Punjab brings parallel stories converging onto the drug menace in punjab. With powerful performances from Alia Bhat, Shahid Kapoor and Diljit Dosanjh, this movie, even with a few glaring issues gets the message across.

9. Sultan:

Ali Abbas Zafar’s Sultan is a film made with a big heart. Even with melodramatic freedom that one can expect from a Salman-starrer, the film was an entertaining love story with wrestling as its backdrop. One of those rare Salman Khan movies where you see him making dedicated effort. Also starring Anushka Sharma, Sultan was a family entertainer.

8. Dear Zindagi

Reema Kagti’s Dear Zindagi belongs to Alia who shoulders the movie all on her own. The vibe that this girl brings along is magical, the therapy sessions in help, not only Alia but the Audience as well. Shahrukh Khan plays an extended cameo which definitely adds value to the film and anchors the movie to a feel-good tag.

[Here’s a detailed review of the film]

7. Ae dil hai mushkil

Heartbreaks are the USPs of a good love story. Add a dose of unequivocal love as the central theme and you have a story that clicks. Ae Dil hai Mushkil does just that. The time when the hero leaves with his bag, as firecrackers burst in the sky, with teary eyes and an Arijit Singh song in the background. You get the picture, don’t you?

It will be very MUSHKIL for your DIL to not like this.

[Here’s a detailed review of Ae Dil hai Mushkil]

6. Aligarh

Hansal Mehta’s Aligarh brings out one of the best performances this year from manoj Bajpai. The movie talks about the real life issue of Homosexuality and how an Aligarh professor was suspended after a sting operation. With the amazingly talented Rajkumar Rao playing the role of a journaist who befriends Manoj in the movie, this film was powerful.

5. Parched

Leena Yadav’s Parched, on the outset appears to be heavy “art” which might put off a lot of viewers who don’t watch similar content. However, the movie even when touching dark and grim topics, keeps tight on an engaging storyline. The three female leads, Radhika Apte, Tanishka Mukherjee and surprisingly Surveen Chawla, do a phenomenally good job.

4. Neerja:

Ram Madhvani’s Neerja is an amazingly crafted Biopic that brought to light Neerja Bhanots story to light. I’ll admit, I just don’t like Sonam Kapoor. But in Neerja, she definitely impressed. Shabana Azmi, as Sonam’s mother, just wells up your eyes with her sincerity to the role.

3. Dangal:

It’s an Aamir Khan film. Enough said. Right from the start when the trailer dropped, it looked awesome and it sure was. The detailing in terms of wrestling and culmination of numerous issues in the framework of wrestling was beautiful. The young actors portraying the Phogat Sisters on whose life the film is based were the true heroes of the film. Director Nitesh Tiwari has done a fab job.

2. Pink

Pink is a movie which makes you think not just while you’re watching it unfold but is also something which remains with you long after you’ve left the theater. It’s a must watch for all men, all women, and even the grownup kids to realize why “NO means NO”. It strikes hard where it should.

[Here my review of Pink]

1. Kapoor and Sons

Shakun Batra’s Kapoor & Sons was a flawless emotional adventure which is filled with some amazing light hearted moments that will press the nostalgic buttons in your head and make you laugh and cry at the same time. Yes, it’s perfect. I even ended up giving it a 5/5. For me this was 2016’s best movie.

[Read the detailed review of Kapoor & Sons here]

Special mention: Akshay Kumar’s Airift

And when we finally got our SRK back in Fan

And of course the amazing MS Dhoni on-screen

Which of these were your favorites ? Let me know in the comments.

Revering Thoughts on 2016

By farooq

On January 1, 2017

In Random Philosophy

I’ve been staring at the WP-dashboard to type down my thoughts on the year that went by. I can sum it down to just one sentence but wanted to “intellectalize” my thoughts and hence the need to pen down the reveries.

To look at a year, which is basically nothing but a timeline that gets followed worldwide, is weird. However, since I got to spent a good part of the year alone. Alone as in living alone. I had a lot of time to psycho-analyze things in detail. After all, my job title also has the word “Analyst” into it. Thankfully, I didn’t ended up creating an excel sheet to do this “year analysis”.

Living alone is a weird experience:

Initially I loved the idea of living all alone when my roommate of more than a year decided to flee town and get married. Over time, I Started loving the freedom it gave. The place was a mess, but who cares ? Over time, it did became weird in the sense that there was no one! Only those who have done this would know how it is. It’s a mixed bag. There was no push from inside to even travel out. The solace at home, in a way, fulfilled that feeling as well. This was one of the biggest learning of the year 2016.

Introduction to Kannada Cinema

In the last 2-3 years, I’ve been exposed to a lot of regional cinema. Telugu and Tamil, initially and then followed by Malayalam. I was in awe with Malayalam movies (and still am). Kannada movies, in my head and whatever little I saw in bits, looked more like the masala versions of telugu and tamil. What changed this year ? I ended up watching U-turn! I followed this with Thithi and a few others. The parallel cinema here is definitely going strong and I’m glad that they have started releasing it with subtitles.

Trumped!

Who would have thought ? Huh! But then understanding grassroot level support from TV/Internet is just not right. Learning ? A big one. People don’t want to go with an idea that is “right for all, collectively”, they want something for themselves. The liberals “talk” just doesn’t get accepted anymore. Liberal is boring and just not sexy. The right is and that’ where the tide is turning for now.

Staying away from Politics on Facebook

Phew! This one was tough! And there were a few instances that I did break it for a while, but overall, I did stick to not writing anything about politics. This did helped a lot to clear my head and not get into useless arguments that go nowhere except alienating people on two sides. Especially when , I have no side of mine and want to stay away from just one side! But I did miss on sharing my views and I’m still in two minds as to whether I should continue with this self-imposed ban or not.

Learning to say No

Naah! I’m not trying to talk about feminism here. I’ve always had this inability of not being able to say No to people. I’ve met people even when I didn’t wanted to, went to places where I wasn’t comfortable in, tried to be nice when all I wanted was to smash their heads and a lot of things. And No, I haven’t been able to completely do that as well. However, there’s been a little improvement on that front.

Finding my self-respect

If one needs to jot down their most valuable possessions, then this surely would top their list. At least it did in mine. Things have been pretty interesting in the last few years, the lows and the highs and the balanced out parts. This year, I finally made an attempt, to get it back. Yes, there are times when it just isn’t easy to hold onto it and these last few months did make me realize this. But all’s well that ends well, right ?

Of course, I’ve only talked about the good things here, right ? Well, because I’ve left behind all the bad stuff. You should too. Have a great new year, folks.

Travelogue: Delhi Food Chapter

By farooq

On January 1, 2017

In Travel & Food

The options for food in Delhi are immense. The variety is staggering. Every pocket size can get something at every street corner. Something that’s amiss here in Bangalore.
The tales of street-food around Jama Masjid had already raised expectations and naturally this was the first place where I took the metro to.
Jahangir

So, my friend took me to Jahangir instead of the famous Karim’s. Knowing this won’ be my only visit in this vicinity for this trip, I agreed to trust him.
Of all the choices, Biriyani was definitely one. Chicken Lollipop and Mutton kassa became the starters.
The Biriyani was a little oily and the rice wasn’t the usual Hyderabadi Biryani kind and a little peculiar. But it definitely boasted of strong flavors and was cooked well.
Chandni Chowk.
So, confession time, I had no idea as to what Chandni Chowk was. But thanks to the innumerable references, I was curious.
Well, it turned out to be an overcrowded market place burstling with energy and yes, lots of people. Lots.

Daulat ka Chaat

I ended up trying “Daulat ki Chaat” in the streets and it was melt-in-your-mouth Yum. Expensive by street-food standards. However, I wouldn’t mind paying double of that if I could get it now.
Nataraja Dahi Bhalle

The Dahi Bhalle was on the sweeter side and personally didn’t like it. But the crowd seemed to love it. Hordes of people lining up to buy this on an evening. I’m told that this is a regular scene at this outlet. But were they all like me to have visited the outlet because of the “crowd”?

Close to this shop is what the Delhiwaalas call the “Paranthe wali Gali”. It’s not just parantha but a variety of fried Indian stuff being dished out. One can find umpteen number of parantha combinations. For a lane this size, there would hardly be a time when it is not crowded.
Khan Market

My cousin took me to this posh Delhi Market called Khan Market. It’s different from the usual Delhi, although there’s no dearth of girls pouting for selfies like the rest of Delhi.
Jokes apart, the place is interesting and would have been great to be hanging around.
Khan Chacha
We went to another famous outlet called “Khan Chacha”, started Haji Banda Hasan in 1972. With a modest shop and ended up becoming popular as ‘KHAN CHACHA’ among students and youngsters. It is sort of a legacy now.
We tried rolls which were good, the kebabs too but the Biriyan was okayish. What I realized is, if you’re used to the Hyedrabadi style of Biriyani, getting used to Biriyani they serve in Delhi is difficult.
Barcelos

This one is close to Khan Chacha and this Burger is something to die for. The black burger is too big a mouthful but is worth it. I’m waiting for the day when they open an outlet in Bangalore.
Haus Khaas Village

Crushed Chicken Kathi Rolls at one of the many food stalls at this happening place. The crowd is good and the food around is good too.
Nikashee

Tried a little bit of Chinese as well. Noodles, Fried Rice and Shezwan Cheese Gravy to accompany it all.
Changezi

This was one dish my friend has been telling me a lot about. So, we went to see what the whole fuss was about. When you visit a place and just by looking at the food being cooked you realize, woah, this is going to be good. This outlet was one of those.

Changezi laden with Creamy butter was to die for. One of the highlights of my delhi trip.
Karim’s

This place has a waiting line which can envy even government office counters. I’ve been to my fair share of restaurants but had never waited this much to get a seat. Food was good, however, cannot tag it “best I’ve had” and Delhi has much more variety and quality food than just Kareem’s But of course, one needs to experience the place, and so I did. Tried out these Kebabs among various other things.
Just out of Kareems’ there is a sweet shop opposite to Kareem’s. Tried their Rabdi to end my meal on a high.

I ended up trying their Biriyani at a food court where I met a friend and found it okayish. But then, it is wrong to copare food-court wala food with restaurant quality. Right ?

Momos from Delhi:

Momos from Delhi are famous. One can find them wherever you lay your eyes on. If I had to compare it to the ones we get in Bangalore, they were far better. I’m not a momo-fan, even though I don’t dislike ‘em either and found these momos great. The chutey served makes it even better. And they’re cheap as well.
The Parantha Mornings

My usual travel plans are spread across weekends. But for the Delhi trip (as it was longer), getting to experience the weekday rush around town as well as the breakfast options. Amazingly good breakfast at 20 bucks, where you get to eat hot spicy paranthas with chutneys. Great, isn’t?

I’m sure I’ll definitely be visiting Delhi again and will add onto this list. if you have any suggestions around food, then do comment.

Dear Zindagi Review: It’s a therapy for all

By farooq

On November 25, 2016

In Movies & Entertainment

Dear Zindagi is about finding life. A free life. A life Kaira (Alia Bhat) needs but doesn’t know where to find. She’s confused and complex like any other girl and refuses to let anyone in. The story tries to simplify the complexities of her life by making her ask the right questions to it.

The fact that Alia clearly over-shadows even Shahrukh in the movie speaks volume of the amount of talent she has. The vulnerability of her character through various stages of life oozes out, along with a multitude of other emotions, all of it very real.

The story is about relationships. In one scene where Alia laments in front of her Psychiatrist( or Dimag ka doctor a referred in the movie), that she’s never going to find anyone in life. Shahrukh remarks that why do we put the strain of everything on that ONE relationship? Why cannot we have a relationship for our varied emotions? This is the essence of what the film wants to talk about. That there’s more to Zindagi than breakups or finding that “one”.

Dear Zindagi covers a lot of ground by covering the “Log kya kahenge?” part, apart from relationships with parents, siblings, friends and of course the variety of “Chairs”. (You’ll get this when you watch the movie).

Of course, you do end up with mixed feelings due to the range of questions that pop up in your head, which makes you question the narrative occasionally. Especially when you realize that everything centres around Kaira and her Zindagi. But then, this is her story. And only her Zindagi. And that’s where Gauri Shinde’s story bounces back ad you try to fit it all together.

SRK anchors the character of Dr. Jehangir Khan with the ease and elegance with which he gives out his interviews. He underplays the character with such depth that you don’t feel anyone else could have done better.

Characters like, Jacky (played by Yashaswini Dhayama) and Fattu (played by Ira Dubey) also bring a natural charm and playfulness to the story and vivacious friendship. The character of Ali Zafar (who plays RUMI) is something that has been written really well. The story also has Kunal Kapoor who adds his own charm.

But in the end, Dear Zindagi belongs to Alia who shoulders the movie all on her own. The vibe that this girl brings along is magical and with Reema’s direction, the therapy sessions in help, not only Alia but the Audience as well.

I’m going with 3.5/5 for Gauri Shinde’s Dear Zindagi. This slice-of-life film is a therapy for mature audiences. If you’ve liked movies like Kapoor & Sons or Piku or Gauri’s other movie English Vinglish, then you’ll definitely like this one as well.