Tag: random philosophy

Free Advice ?

On March 5, 2015

There are times when you feel bad about saying something. More so, when people take it the wrong way. You actually start judging yourself on those things. Accusations, doubts and then you finally indulge in guilt. Only to keep introspecting and making your day go from bad to worse.

It is in those little sentences and words that you can offend someone or that someone can offend you too. It has never been said any better, words coming out of mouth can never be taken back.

Advice is one such thing. We should keep plenty of it for ourselves. Hoard it. Pack it and just set it aside somewhere. Never distribute it to others. Because the truth is my friend, No one cares.

The day is about to end. Someone else seeks advice. My advice. I’m hesitant. Should I keep it stored? Should I just listen and nod along in solidarity when that someone requests me for something which won’t affect me even if you empty the coffers!!

Advice, we all give out regularly. Of course, sometimes we overdo it. Sometimes, the other person just doesn’t give a shit to listen to that and sometimes we are of the belief that this might be of some help. It is not about recalling something in retrospect to proclaim, “I told you so”. Or maybe it is. It is all Grey.

Finally behind all this melodramatic thoughts enjoy the fulcrum of my tiny brain, I give out what they seek. Like a good friend, in the best of spirit. The way I always do. Isn’t that is what friends are for? Gove out advice which they themselves don’t follow through ever? Yes, I’m that friend. Don’t listen to the sweet talk which I do, but remember I would just like you to not tread the path which I didn’t liked. Knowing well, you might just do the same. After all, you’re my friend right?

What I learnt today is, what the other person values, remains important. Whether they value you the way, you do or not. It is this realization, which takes a while to sink in. But hopefully with a nights’ sleep and the extra box of pizza lying around before I sleep, will be of some help.

Now, you don’t advise me on eating too much of pizza!

Blabbering on a Saturday

By farooq

On February 14, 2015

In Random Philosophy

It is very rare to wake up during the early hours of the morning on a Saturday. It’s Saturday, you know.
So, today when I did (Accidentally), after having slept midway while watching Supernatural, I was a little surprised at myself. Perhaps, the cycling around town after work helped in the dozing off process!
Made myself a hot cup of coffee, sat on the stairs around balcony sipping it, while getting a little dose of Vitamin-D. Sadly, the view from our balcony isn’t that great. Mostly because we live inside this highly congested residential area of Bangalore, even though I tried to indulge myself into the world around from the confines of 4th Floor.

Morning gets better when you start off with this.

Generally these stray moments with myself are supposed to result in putting me in deep thoughts. Thoughts about life and crap. But I was actually thinking Electricity bills, filling out the groceries, washing clothes and other “important” crap.
Aaah!! The pleasures of the damned working life.
Finally, I also made plans to take my bicycle to the Decathlon store for its first servicing and also to work on a few writing assignments that are due. But well, plans remain plans, especially when I make them.
Yet to even take a shower or to clean the place, which only happens once-a-week. No, not both just the cleaning part. Thankfully, the dinner last night was cooked keeping in mind the Saturday laziness and hence Brunch went well.
Switching off the never-ending tv series’ is tough but well I finally did it and ended up blabbering a little to feed the starving blog. Interesting fact, the blog lost a few posts and lots of amazing comments due to my stupidity and GoDaddys’ over efficiency. But with the Almighty’s grace, it is back in order.

I should accept that it did scared the hell outta me, when I thought I would lose ALL my content. It would have been just impossible to start off again.
I do wonder though, whether it would have resulted in a sort of blogging death or would have given a fresh new start to my writing. Kind of like being born again, right? Who doesn’t want a clean slate ?
Only in this case, the slate remains a testimony to how life and perspectives have changed over time as far as I’m concerned.
But, I’m still trying to make this as a fresh start to writing. It’s a new day and a there’s’ always something to write.

In search of that calmness…

By farooq

On February 25, 2014

In Random Philosophy

Calmness is what I seek, in morning, in evening or even in the dark night. I anticipate it as how a hungry stomach does for food. It is not my food. It is just a necessity for my soul. I might assume that this, in general, is true for everyone, but just don’t feel to include anyone else into this personified glory of calmness. Call me selfish maybe, but well I’m also in the process of not giving a damn. Easier said than done? Well, yes it is!!

The prime reason I started typing out this post was the weather today. Strolling down for some coffee, in and around dusk, while the wind striking slowly and the sun in the west bows down for the day. Not too fast or cold. Just the optimum. Just what I needed.

Generally, I’d like myself to believe that a “good time” is when you have a great laugh, eat some amazing food or enjoy a beautifully made movie, mostly in the company of your loved ones. But there’s a part of me that actually waits moments like these to give the soul what it needs.

This evening alone, with this serene weather is not the only occasion. Occasionally, many of these soul-quenching moments camouflage themselves in a walk post-dinner; standing on the doors of a moving train with earphones plugged in and most recently discovered offering prayers before the Almighty Allah or even reading the holy book Quran.

There are numerous examples when it comes to attaining peace and building up of those calm moments. Even writing down a blogpost without having to look for words, when they just flow through as if I am speaking my heart out, is what calmness can be defined as my me.

But I still wonder why I always run towards chaos? Why I am attracted towards the noise or the clichéd avenues of “enjoyment”? When all my soul and my mind needs is peace. A sense of calmness.

Now, asking questions like these are sure-shot spoilers of ruining the moment or it is just another way of reminding myself that over thinking or stressing too much on things is never going to give out any results. So, just let it be. Whatever has to happen, will happen with the grace of Allah. What I can look towards is being calm. This is what I can try. And yes, I will attain it too.

The Problem called ME.

By farooq

On November 26, 2013

In Random Philosophy

One can never get completely empty. Neither our mind goes this way, nor our hearts. But there are times, when it’s all blank and even the fillers, which makes the emptiness go away or atleast help adjust to a bearable ratio dies down. Probably with too much work being the filler of late to ward off the empty vessel that my mind has become. Hard-work is what they don’t like, I suppose.

Wandering around with this new-found emptiness, I simply cannot decide as to whether look for the fillers or do something to change things altogether. I’d like to think, that I should focus on the big picture and so, a complete change is what I should seek. Is it?

Well, easier said than done. And tougher imagined and achieved. Or is it?

A long walk down the street, filled with noise. Noise, I don’t relate to. Laughs I despise. Looks which disinvite me from them. Overthinking my way towards the coffee shop, a bakery as many would call it. I rest that emptiness down.

Where have I come?

This wasn’t meant to end like this, this wasn’t supposed to be part of the plan which the puzzle I went ahead to solve. It looked so easy, almost enticing me towards it. Was this a trick, which seduced me into making me throw down everything I had, all on my face like this? Like punishing me for being optimistic or overzealous?

Kind of tough to put all this down into words, tougher to even correlate the pieces of the broken dreams shattered all across the floor on which I have been thrown upon. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be, maybe this was not the path that was to be taken, when the choice was to be made or maybe it’s all part of a mistake for which I’m being made to pay. My choice. My mistake. And my payments.

“Maybe” is a confusing word. Maybe this, maybe that.

Well, not just this, a lot of things right now are confusing.

I am the biggest confusion that I have now.

To me, I am my biggest problem.

But then, the only reason that makes me remain in my senses is; only I am my Solution.

Trailing down…..

By farooq

On November 17, 2013

In Random Philosophy

Inconsistently cursing the cravings which led me to where I currently stand in the palindrome of a complex phenomenon called life, I simply wonder as to why certain things take precedence over the others. The jumbled up priority list which springs up surprises, and not necessarily in a manner which I can refer to as decently good, if not great.

One time, I feel as if riding an air-filled tube down one of those amusement park rides where I have no control over what is happening. I am just forced down the ride with my own expectations of joy and amusement, but all along a small prayer rushes down to return me down to the ground with every body part intact. Yes, there is fear.

But unlike the amusing water-coaster ride, where I can shout my lungs out and expect myself to be down there exclaiming the captured adventure with a rush of blood, life continues to be a long ride with no surety of the end result or promise of any retrospective “oh-that-was-fun” in sight. It just goes on and on.

I do push hard to make the trail down as smooth as I can, following the protocol of societal pressures have never been my cup of tea. Not a tea person too. But have pushed hard enough to put in changes. Now, whether those changes have worked or not remains to be seen.

They say there is something called confidence, which has been washed down along the course of this trail down under, and with hardly any uplifting of sorts in getting it back together, just continues to wash itself out with the water along with it. Not just because of my neglect to hold it, but with the constant rough patch that continues to over-shadow each and everything. You hold onto one thing, you lose another. How big a hand I need to hold onto it all?

There’s nothing called stability which resides here in my heart. Words like Serene, calm, relaxing are mere goals which I run after, without being able to catch hold of even one. They are like the flags on top of a summit which invite me, but just when I show up, kick me hard in my nuts and enjoy watching me fall down from it.

Back when I was at my optimistic best, as to how everything will finally fall back into place and there will be peace, appears to be a fairy tale now with only the nightmarish thoughts of where I’m gonna end up? Or where will this shit take me to?

As I referred to my constant tries of pushing to make things happen, some lethargic attitude holds it back anyway. The most prominent questions that props up is, “how I’m gonna put all this shit of life together? “

Answers are what I seek and more questions boomerang my way to doze me off again, and when I woke up to the same shit again. The one thing, I again make it a point to exclaim, “I need to get my shit together”.