Category: Random Philosophy

My Dadi…

On September 18, 2012

This post is dated May 5, 2011

My Dadi…

Stepping on d Tatanagar railway station, since the last 4 years, has always been a moment filled with excitement. That feeling of meeting d two important F’s of my life ,my family and my friends, has been the reason for this excitement. But this day was an exception and I hated this for being such an exception.Was to board the Purushottam express on the night of 25th April for a long vacation. Everything was set. Just 8 hrs of journey and I’d be @ my home. But life had other plans for me, as always! Needed to rush for a train in d morning itself to reach home ASAP. Reason for it was a call from sis that Dadi is no more. Yep. My dadi was no more. I needed 2 repeatedly say it to myself to believe it.

It was not some shocking news I was listening to. I knew this was coming. frequent dialysis and increase in the level of sugar. the kidney failure nailing it all. But still it felt strange to digest this fact. The feeling that My grandmother is no more was something I had never ever thought of. There will be no one to scold my Ammi when something of my choice was not made for lunch or dinner. The feeling that there will be no one to sneak in a few bucks while going for a movie when I was running out of cash. and not just the material things, just the presence of her. her warmth, will no more be there! Too many things that I cannot even think of or cant put in words but will not be possible in the absence of my Dadi.
My Dadi’s love was the superlative of motherly care. Now there is no one who will be partial towards me. Which had always been there , me being her eldest grandchild. Sigh. But as they say ” har Jaandar ko maut ka maza chakna hai”. One has got to accept it. No matter how much hard it will be. Its life and one has to move on with it. I’m thankful to the Almighty that I could at least be part of the funeral. Atleast I could lend my shoulder to her Janaaza That I could at least help her in making her rest into her new home.
But there is regret too. Regret that I couldn’t see even her face one last time Regret that I was the one whom she had been longing for. But I was not there with her during her last breath. I feel like crying while writing all this. Something I didn’t do after hearing the news. I didn’t felt like doing. The only time I ended up crying was when I entered the house n Ammi just mentioned her name.
I still feel her presence around me. I close my eyes and her face pops up. My heart fills with regret that she couldn’t see me become a big man. Don’t know whether this regret will stay or fade away with time but one thing is for sure dadi, you will always stay by me for ever and ever along with Dada. May your soul rest in peace.

Original thoughts

By farooq

On September 18, 2012

In Random Philosophy

Are the thoughts that strike our mind all our own? Or they enter into our subconscious from hearsay?

Are we influenced by others’ choices/preferences?

Are we at all original in our thinking? Or we’ve become so accustomed to thinking on others’ line of thought?

We start liking some people based on their likeability among others. That one dress we bought with so much of excitement, but couldn’t wear it more than once. Why? just because someone didn’t quite like it on you and you followed their remarks by not liking it. We conceal our own choices and get buoyed by the ones put across by others. We replicate people by trying to follow their thought process. Are we listening to our mind or letting our mind wander through the coliseum of thoughts put before us. Are we doing that?

Let’s examine things you have done based on other’s viewpoint. And yes, this ‘you’ includes me as well.

Remember that one dress you bought with so much excitement, but couldn’t wear it more than once?

Why? just because someone didn’t quite like it on you and you followed their remarks by not liking it. We conceal our own choices and get buoyed by the ones put across by others. We replicate people by trying to follow their thought process. Are we listening to our mind or letting our mind wander through the coliseum of thoughts put before us. Are we doing that?

Someone didn’t quite like it or made fun of it. And you followed their remarks by not liking it. We conceal our own choices and get buoyed by the ones put across by others. We replicate people by trying to follow their thought process. Are we listening to our mind or letting our mind wander through the coliseum of thoughts put before us. Are we doing that?

Why stop at clothing? TV shows, movies, food, and every damn thing in the world follows the same trajectory.

We conceal our own choices and get buoyed by the ones put across by others. We replicate people by trying to follow their thought process. We let our mind wander through the coliseum of thoughts put before us. Why are we doing that?

Even the faults, we notice in others, are a result of someone else pointing it out to us. Certain linguistic errors (if I may call it that), only comes to everyone’s rapt attention when pointed out.

Ravi Shastri wouldn’t have sounded like this (you know, right) in his commentary style had someone wouldn’t have told us so. The ever so repeating “well, of course” by Dhoni in post-match press conferences might have escaped our attention had no one paid extra attention to it. Your friends’ irritating habit of saying some words in a weird way would have been bearable to your ears before another ‘kind’ friend enlightened you with it.

We may say that it’s not true that we get influenced by the thought processes of others; rather our thoughts are only influenced by our brain and it’s all just a co-incidence.

The intersection of thoughts with that of others is purely a co-incidence.

Agreed. There can be a lot of similarities between thought-processes. We all are wired in a similar manner, of course.

But what amuses me is how people tend completely base their opinion and thoughts based on what’s ‘cool’ now and disregard their own thought process.

So, what’s your original thought on this ?

Pseudo-Optimist

By farooq

On September 10, 2012

In Random Philosophy

Being optimistic is a virtue that only “few” enjoy.

Our life is such that even though we are not among those “few”, we still try to portray ourselves as such. And do a pretty decent job in putting up an “optimistic” face in front of others.

Kudos to people like us, because it is indeed difficult.

Difficult in the sense that our lives are so complex that having problems of various degrees is not a new thing. We all go through them as if they are routine. But we never shy away from thinking that all of this will get over “one fine day”. But we definitely don’t know when will that fine day come into our lives. Do we?

Think about these situations.

1. Exams are due next week. We still haven’t completed our course and we go, ‘we will complete it.’

2. Our team is almost sure of losing. A six or a wicket. And we might just sneak in a win.

3. The next door hottie doesn’t throw a fleeting glance at us, still, we spend hours fantasizing about that first date.

A voice inside our head screams, “Never gonna happen”.

While the other says, “What if, it does?”

Hell yeah, we are Optimist.

Or should we say Pseudo- optimist??

Are we forcing ourselves into becoming pseudo-optimists?? And is this a good thing??

The answer to the above question is a definite “yes”.

Why, do you ask?

Because if we don’t do that, then either we become like those sad pessimists, or simply let negativity get the better of us.

You may believe yourself when you say you may finish your course prior to your exams or you may even get that hottie on a date (That’s a little far-fetched).

And Sports definitely is something where anything can happen. Of course, Langoors catching Angoors, isn’t new as well.

So change your approach, it is great if you are born-optimist and if you don’t then force yourself to become one.

Become a Pseudo-optimist.

Update: So, what’s changed over the years? (I’m updating this after 4 Years and 5 Months)

Apart from looking at what I wrote years earlier and laughing at my own writing, you mean?

Well, I continue to be a pseudo-optimist. Not for the points, I mentioned above. But about life in general. I’ve become more thankful to my past and look forward to future. There is an acceptance of reality, far less pessimism and a little extra optimism.

Hopefully, in a few years’ time, I’ll again look back at this post, and update it with a few more good thoughts.

Now, that’s optimism. Right ?

Emptiness

By farooq

On September 10, 2012

In Random Philosophy

If you are one of those Single guys out there, then it would be easy for you to understand it (Although I seriously doubt that one can even understand what I write!)

I’m not a teenager anymore!! (Gosh! It feels so strange to even write (gulps)), but that feeling of Emptiness refuses to die down even now. Of all those fantasies that you still dream of, yeah they still haunt you (yes, haunt you! ).

I miss the feeling of being complete, (as if some vital part of my body hasn’t grown yet and I’m waiting for it to grow and yo!! I crossed my puberty in case you’re wondering). Although there is nothing at all missing in my life. (of course, i do miss not being with my parents)
I miss that one special hug that could ease all the grief and emptiness that still persists and is in no way going to fade away anytime soon.

Emptiness

It’s true that I have many who genuinely support me in times of need and despair. Be it my Family and my lovely Friends (can’t thank God enough for these two F’s ). I miss that one awaited call or text message during the day,
Although my phone doesn’t stop ringing until its battery gives away (and I end up using it even while it gets charged).
I miss the feeling of being the most special person in someone’s life.

There are many people who say I’m special for them (the two F’s i mentioned above).
Don’t you get that feeling of jealousy when you see happy couples enjoying themselves? I do. But to console myself , end up either Cursing them or terming them as ridiculously childish/boring , etc (the last ones’ getting priority).
Its not often that I get this feeling (crossing the teen-barrier may have minimized it, thankfully ).
But when I do, I realize what I’m missing in life. Mind keeps asking “Is there a better place than this Emptiness?”

The motto of my life has always been (rather I’ve forcefully made it to be) ”Life’s simple when you are single. . . So why the hell make it complicated” (it may sound ridiculous but hey that’s something original okay!) but I now realize that life is much complex like this.

Still I’ve became very optimistic of late ( rather forced to become one). By that, I don’t mean to convey that I’m optimistic about shedding this tag. I am optimistic that if I’m single there must be something good out of it. ( My committed friends always tell me this).

At the end of the day, I do realize that Everything happens for Good. Hope its true.

Childhood

By farooq

On September 10, 2012

In Random Philosophy

Childhood is one of the most treasured phases of our life. Some two days back I went to the mosque for Namaaz. While I was sitting there, some 4-5 kids came and sat beside me, all of them about 7-8 years of age, bustling with energy. I was just watching them talk among themselves and was reminded of my childhood days when I used to throng the mosque in groups.

I stopped myself from thinking more as prayers were about to start.

But once the prayer ended and I got out of the mosque, all I could think of, was about my ‘days’. How I used to be back then, and how time has brought so much of a change in me. I wondered how there used to be nothing other than having some fun on my mind. There was hardly anything to think about.

And now, how one is needed to think innumerable things, from our career to studies to even girls. Each of them have their own distinct importance in your life. And the fact which we cannot deny is, one cannot run away from any of these things.

I long to go back to my childhood but my growing mustache tells me that I cannot! I wish, I had some magic power which would make me a child once again. But wishes remain wishes and this one is too good to be true.

In a year more I’ll even lose my teenager tag, n then it would become a more hectic life full of responsibilities. But I’m trying to be a little optimistic and hope I’ll enjoy my years ahead. IN SH ALLAH!