Category: Random Philosophy Page 17 of 20

Blank.

On April 16, 2014

It’s blank.

A blank document to start writing with. How I wish, I could just start off my life afresh just like this blank document. A fresh start. A clean slate. Call it whatever, but yes a part of me wishes at this moment that I could do that.

It is said, we learn from our mistakes, from our decisions, experiences. All true.

A fair share of my learning is from these experiences, mistakes and decisions. Their share is so much; that I wonder what would have happened if I had counted them all.

Khair, it has been tough. But then life gives lemons to everyone. It is what you do with those lemons that actually count.

Nobody is untouchable to troubles. It is that universal “gift” which is added to our grocery list regularly. More regularly than the “Eclairs” which is now the undoubted substitute for all the change the retailer has to give back to you.

The vague purpose in everyone’s life is a reminder of how uncertain we ourselves make our lives to be. It’s understood that a lot of it is out of bounds for us, but life still gives us moments where we choose. Moments, where we make decisions. Decisions, which have consequences and ones which we shouldn’t repeat if the similar ones haven’t gone down well in the past.

But then, Welcome to the complicated idea called life (More complicated than Women).

Life, as we try knowing more about it, changes.

I’ve always tried taking control of these changes that happen in life. Planning is one thing, having a backup plan is another, which had created the illusion of me, having taken control of many of these changes.

When realization struck (pretty hard), I guess it was too late (An optimistic voice in me still shouts, “Is it?”).

Even the smallest of our decisions have their impacts. We don’t realize them at that point in time, but when the moment of truth comes knocking. It all adds up, and many a times it is not a rosy picture that gets painted in front of our eyes.

It is all confusing, whether to think before we do even the simplest of things or just go with the flow. If you are confused too, then don’t look at me for answers, coz I ain’t got any. No one’s got any. It is we, who make our choices and we have to live with it. We may rue, we may crib and do 100 odd things just to get that feeling out from our systems, but that is all what we’ve got.

I started writing with a blank document and now finishing with words. And yet, as ironic as it may sound, I’m still blank. I’m empty.

People. Selfishness. Retrospection.

By farooq

On March 25, 2014

In Random Philosophy

Retrospection is one of the most important things we gather from our experience in this life. A wise man is one who helps put these little experiences and stitches them to shape who he really is.

Understanding people is one such essential part of the wisdom, we strive to achieve. It is a continuous build-up of numerous sorts of varied understandings that are shaped by various critical factors. Time, point of view and situation being the most prominent factors in determining the true value of an individual to the scheme of things in one’s life.

One major hurdle in the process is the illusion we end up putting ahead of us which blocks our view of them. We extrapolate their importance or sometimes even condition ourselves in believing things that were never there.

To sum it up in a word, people are selfish. People are only concerned about their own benefit. And this category includes all of us, including the writer of this post, which few of you are going to read, very few of them going to understand it and even fewer going to give it some thought while even fewer than that, are going to even give some insight from their own.

The reason I call people selfish, is whatever we do is to either make good of the situation, or to get out of a situation in a particular period of time, and we go to lengths to actually make it happen. Our objective to satisfy our needs is what drives us towards the attainment of our “goal”.

In our quest to achieve the goals, we use people, we use situations and make use of whatever that comes our way. Sometimes, we keep those things, people, etc as mementos or just discard them after use.

The whole point being, what happens to the things, people, or whatever after we have either discarded them or even just kept as mementos locked in some old cupboard ?

It is this question of which we can only answer if either we have been left away near the garbage bin or in the confines of a cupboard. Wisdom may perhaps be to accept the state which one is, even after being given this treatment OR maybe not letting anyone get to have this feeling.

Let us all just spare a moment for this “need fulfilling attitude of ours” just for a minute…

5 ways to kick out your “Writer’s block”

By farooq

On March 9, 2014

In Random Philosophy

Writing a few words on paper and then not finding it to be making any sense, tearing it to throw it off around and in the process making mess around the room. That was how; writers suffering from what many refer to as the “writer’s block” would like to call it can be picturised. Scratching their heads, throwing away their pen and perhaps having concentrated dose of nicotine or caffeine. Some much esteemed ones (or otherwise) even prefer some shots of the compound from the –OH group of Organic chemistry. Fact of the matter is, they are hardly entertained by the chemistry of that kind, but may amuse themselves in developing some chemistry of their characters.

Beherhaal!!

Without drawing too much parallel on those writer clichés or trying to proclaim myself a writer, just because I ram down some sequence of words then and now, I have been facing a similar situation of the same kind. And if you happen to be a regular on this blog space (which I highly doubt, not for being filled with any humility though), you must have noticed how the regular posts have been just a camouflaged attempt to build on this inability to write some valuable content. And adding to that tally is yet another of the same Don’t-have-anything-to-write genre.

Today, languishing in one of the many sorrows of life (which seems to be on a never-ending-spree), I simply retrospect as to how this stop-start writing schedule is to be avoided. There are five keys points, that my mind jotted down in one of those deep introspective sessions.

1. To be on a schedule, make a schedule: First thing first, you have to have a schedule for your writing, be it daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or whatever. But you still need to have one. Believe me, it really helps, when you have fixed on a number, you will try to achieve it. in case you are not able to, that number will still loom on your head, and you’ll try to compensate for it.

2. Focus on just one key area: To get out of this block, you need not diversify your writing genre, you just need to focus on any one particular category and write as many posts as you may. Do this, until you start having varied ideas on different other topics. This way, you are not only back to writing but also you’ll have more and better ideas to write upon. It is like, first limit yourself and then let loose.

3. Don’t think too much before writing, start writing and words flow like a river: The best part about writing should not always be to write well. It should be how good the flow is, let the thoughts flow like a river. Don’t hesitate to commit any grammar mistakes, just write down the draft as fast as you can. Later, read and rectify all of them. It is said, write when drunk and edit when sober. Although IMO, you need not follow it literally.

4. Read your own old posts, and share them with readers: Sometimes, just sharing your old posts which are still relevant to your readers are a major help. This helps you put your writing back into discussion and even spurts you up as well as inspires you to write. Who doesn’t like getting praised?

5. Try to post ASAP: This is one mistake, we all do. Write down a post, but keep delaying the draft completion and never post it. After a few days, the post even becomes irrelevant. So, the best pick up from this would be to write, edit and just post it. (Which I’m gonna do straightway)

In search of that calmness…

By farooq

On February 25, 2014

In Random Philosophy

Calmness is what I seek, in morning, in evening or even in the dark night. I anticipate it as how a hungry stomach does for food. It is not my food. It is just a necessity for my soul. I might assume that this, in general, is true for everyone, but just don’t feel to include anyone else into this personified glory of calmness. Call me selfish maybe, but well I’m also in the process of not giving a damn. Easier said than done? Well, yes it is!!

The prime reason I started typing out this post was the weather today. Strolling down for some coffee, in and around dusk, while the wind striking slowly and the sun in the west bows down for the day. Not too fast or cold. Just the optimum. Just what I needed.

Generally, I’d like myself to believe that a “good time” is when you have a great laugh, eat some amazing food or enjoy a beautifully made movie, mostly in the company of your loved ones. But there’s a part of me that actually waits moments like these to give the soul what it needs.

This evening alone, with this serene weather is not the only occasion. Occasionally, many of these soul-quenching moments camouflage themselves in a walk post-dinner; standing on the doors of a moving train with earphones plugged in and most recently discovered offering prayers before the Almighty Allah or even reading the holy book Quran.

There are numerous examples when it comes to attaining peace and building up of those calm moments. Even writing down a blogpost without having to look for words, when they just flow through as if I am speaking my heart out, is what calmness can be defined as my me.

But I still wonder why I always run towards chaos? Why I am attracted towards the noise or the clichéd avenues of “enjoyment”? When all my soul and my mind needs is peace. A sense of calmness.

Now, asking questions like these are sure-shot spoilers of ruining the moment or it is just another way of reminding myself that over thinking or stressing too much on things is never going to give out any results. So, just let it be. Whatever has to happen, will happen with the grace of Allah. What I can look towards is being calm. This is what I can try. And yes, I will attain it too.

Let’s not be Cry Babies

By farooq

On February 14, 2014

In Random Philosophy

It’s not every day that one ponders upon the past choices and throws themselves back to the horizons of time. Like, if there was a time machine, but only here certain stuck upon memories doing the job for you. Free of cost, you’d think. Eh ? But no, they are a strain on a lot of painful nerves that you may have silenced, or at least tried to. Best way to not do that is either not think about it or keep yourself constantly occupied.

The first option is quite tricky, because the more you try to run away, brush it off, put on a fake smile as if to allow the outward personality to soak in the pseudo-happiness, etc actually makes you remember them more. Just in that tiny little corner of our minds, one little weepy kid is always ready to burst out crying.

The second option is the best and practically possible as well, to keep yourself occupied with the mundane or just about anything specific. Well, with keeping yourself busy, one can surely avoid a lot of things and these memories can just be kept in check. But even then, there are lots of things which just linger around, only to strike you down at your lowest point. Yet again. As if they were waiting for an opportunity. An opening, through which they could all sneak in. Strike when it’s Hot, is the moto they follow perhaps.

Coming back to the choices part. I’ve heard a lot of people rue about missed chances, bad choices, carelessness, etc. I won’t say, I’ve never been a cry baby ever. Still, the only thing I’ve realized is, there are nothing called bad choices.Nothing called missed chances. It was not the proactiveness or the lack of it, resulted into those choices going wrong. It was just meant to teach a lesson. Meant to give us, what they call wisdom. Now, the option in hand for us is not to rue as to why it happened but to learn from those mistakes which we did. Or rather instead of calling them a mistake, lessons we learnt is more appropriate.

So, let us try and not be cry babies.

An early Sunday Morning and another attempt to get back to Writing with a really long Post Title

By farooq

On February 9, 2014

In Random Philosophy

Staring at this word doc for over a minute, while thinking of something totally different from it all, finally type down something. It still takes effort to get back to writing, whatever and whenever I want. The old schedule and flow just seems to be missing. Well there are of course numerous reasons, but instead of boring you out with the innumerable sad tales of my life, I’ll just share with you some odd happenings in and around me. (Not sure whether you’ll find that interesting though).

Early Sunday Morning. It just doesn’t even properly sound like something of value to me. Early Morning itself is nothing short of a punishment. Anyways, here I am. And here is Sunday.

A typical Sunday for me generally wouldn’t have even started by now. Maybe this would be the time, I’ll be clearing out my way to clean up the bed and sleep after extended hours of either watching some random movie or any of those Tv series on which I would be hooked onto. No. No such thing in a little while.

It is just a little calm. Excessively calm and yet uneasy. The chirping of the birds, the coughing of the security guard who would finally like to call off for the day, after adjusting himself to sleeping on a chair the whole night of course.

Speaking of sleep and adjustments, a little disorder has crept in my system and the reason for the same can definitely be awarded to this factor called Overthinking. This one never leaves your side, even when others seem to do their own shifts then and now.

There are loads of things to rue about and even more to crib upon, but as strange as it may sound. I don’t feel like doing it. I won’t give out some of the positivity crap out to you, but would definitely state that not thinking negatively is better. Maybe that is how things are going to be. You learn from your mistakes and if you just won’t repeat them, than the things might just improve.

Apart from very important things, I have actually never been persistent towards anything. And now, when I’m trying to be, because there are things that to me, actually appear to be worth it, it just amazes me that it is really difficult. Someone said to me once, “Nothing can be served to you on a platter” and hence I tried to convince people to cook and I’ll go ahead with even self service as long as I get it. but then why would anything go as I want, eh ?

Phew!! Trying not to crib is just not my thing I guess. (I still ended up doing it).

Wish you a great Sunday guys!!

Cribbings

By farooq

On January 25, 2014

In Random Philosophy

The question that has been looming large in my head is why I am not able to write. Write something, anything, just simply write. Actually vent it out. The more I thought the more I couldn’t get myself to type down into gibbering words on the keypad. Finally gathering whatever little ounce of determination that had been stored in some remote part of the mortal remain that I still have, directed them to write down something. And it just so happens that just typing down the reasons for the long absence is enough to stretch up to 100 words of the English language (104, to be precise and 113 till this sentence closes). Phew!!!

Questions and answers. I make them, and get lost in answering them. “Why” being the most favourite starting point of course of the numerous questions.

Life went the crazy road. I’m still being sane. Apart from the regular enticing indulgences of killing myself to end it all. Yes, sorry to disappoint many with these sadistic approach but I just thought let me just be truthful to myself and to the fact that actually saying it out loud may actually stop me from thinking more about it. Killing myself is not the only thought that crosses my reveries but the mere idea of just giving in to the demands of the craziness that life has thrown up. Now, “crazy” is just a very polite way of saying how fucked up the situation is.

Apart from my pseudo-optimistic self and others who try to console, do throw in bubbles of hope which do reach me, but I miserably fail to store them safely. Only if I knew how to store and use them like medicines whenever the going gets tougher and tougher.

Khair, the story of cribbing can go to extents that it might not be tiring for you to read but tiring for me to explain to you as well. Thing is when the going gets tough, no matter whether you get tougher or not. You sure learn a lot about people and their being “friends” with you. So, here’s me ending the cribbing and finally able to post something on the blog.

Gifts for my Child..

By farooq

On December 27, 2013

In Random Philosophy

Writing down my “demands” on my Abbu’s scribble pad in our shop as a kid, whenever he was out on the site making various pandals which was part of our Tent decorations business and giving shape to numerous other marriages/parties, was one thing which I can never forget. I was spoiled as a child before my siblings started with their own set of demands when they started talking, but before that my “demands” were something which never got unnoticed. How could they be, if I write it down on the registers at our shop or there on the table where Abbu used to sit?

But there were lots of things which I never asked my parents, never did I write them down for their easy reference. Sometimes, I didn’t know I was supposed to ask or not. Sometimes, I didn’t know I even needed them. Expectations, yes, your parents are the ones from whom you expect the most out of.

Now, all these things are retrospectively very easy to describe, easier for me to judge or may even sound like a bit of complaining. But I have also realized that, the amount of time our parents spent on us can never be matched nor be equated with any sort of materialistic gift that they may or may not have given us.

Questions arises, will we ever be able to do the same?

Of course, we can try matching what we got from our parents, knowing well in advance that with our busy schedule it may not materialize. We can, however do plan out the part which is quite possible.

If, one has to make up a list of 5 things that are realistically possible and something which may match what our parents have given us in shaping what we are now.

1. A house of memories..

I’ve been brought up in our home in Jamshedpur, where we still live. All our memories, the good, the bad and the ugly, are all associated with this very house. The way we have grown, is all shaped up by this house. What I want to gift my child is a house, where he grows, plays, stays, laughs, cries, and do everything which is part and parcel of the everyday grind. And to look back into that same house, on how it did shaped up his being.

2. A piggy Bank..

Children should be taught the value of money and savings from the start. This would encourage them to instill values which would help them in their journey forward and also train them from timely emergencies which they might have.

3. His first bicycle..

Learning to fly is what I associated my bicycle learning experience with. it was as if learning to move ahead, the first rush of excitement to ride the bicycle out on the street. Even with the many injuries sticking on, the feel which the bicycle ride gives for the first time, without anyone’s support, is something that can never be forgotten.

4. Options

Growing up to be a teenager is something which is inevitable and we all want to see our child achieve something. We may all have certain biases regarding many of the career-oriented choices he may have or his aspirations might suggest, but if I can help my child into exploring all the available options, so that he may be able to take a better decision as what he truly wants to become, than that would be a satisfying part and a gift of a kind. This of course, is depended on the financial and mental backing, which is necessary to make sure his choice sees the light of the day.

5. A farmland

A farmland where we’ll plant trees on every b’day of any of the family member and by the time he has grown up, the place would be all green with trees bearing fruit. This would not only be family tradition but something which will resemble a natural way of growth and learning for the kids. This will also prepare them for future and meanwhile inculcate patience, hard work and a connect with nature through it. And of course, some meaningful family time and precious memories as well.

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda

The Problem called ME.

By farooq

On November 26, 2013

In Random Philosophy

One can never get completely empty. Neither our mind goes this way, nor our hearts. But there are times, when it’s all blank and even the fillers, which makes the emptiness go away or atleast help adjust to a bearable ratio dies down. Probably with too much work being the filler of late to ward off the empty vessel that my mind has become. Hard-work is what they don’t like, I suppose.

Wandering around with this new-found emptiness, I simply cannot decide as to whether look for the fillers or do something to change things altogether. I’d like to think, that I should focus on the big picture and so, a complete change is what I should seek. Is it?

Well, easier said than done. And tougher imagined and achieved. Or is it?

A long walk down the street, filled with noise. Noise, I don’t relate to. Laughs I despise. Looks which disinvite me from them. Overthinking my way towards the coffee shop, a bakery as many would call it. I rest that emptiness down.

Where have I come?

This wasn’t meant to end like this, this wasn’t supposed to be part of the plan which the puzzle I went ahead to solve. It looked so easy, almost enticing me towards it. Was this a trick, which seduced me into making me throw down everything I had, all on my face like this? Like punishing me for being optimistic or overzealous?

Kind of tough to put all this down into words, tougher to even correlate the pieces of the broken dreams shattered all across the floor on which I have been thrown upon. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be, maybe this was not the path that was to be taken, when the choice was to be made or maybe it’s all part of a mistake for which I’m being made to pay. My choice. My mistake. And my payments.

“Maybe” is a confusing word. Maybe this, maybe that.

Well, not just this, a lot of things right now are confusing.

I am the biggest confusion that I have now.

To me, I am my biggest problem.

But then, the only reason that makes me remain in my senses is; only I am my Solution.

A Lost kid…

By farooq

On November 18, 2013

In Random Philosophy

Monotonous life. Confused soul. Pessimistic approach. Tough luck.

Throw them all in, and that’s how I might define the bag full of specifications that the package called life brings along with it. Throw in some terrible mood swings and you have the perfect recipe for an eventual disaster waiting to happen.

I might sound a little out of sync, maybe a little too whiny as well but that’s how the truth is trying to pour out. Lucky enough that there is only a leakage, otherwise it may burst out and spread the whole mess.

Difficult to paint a picture through words, and if I try to do that, chances are you might not like the painting. But then, who am I kidding ? I’ve actually stopped giving a damn!! Unless of course, you happen to be from my family, and if you are reading this, I’m sure you aren’t from there.

Would have added an apologetic sorry up there, but then I ask myself, why should I? I stand to receive more than a dozen of them but have no doubt that I won’t get any of them. Yes, I do expect a lot from people. High time, I start that with myself.

Not that I didn’t tried, I did. I effing did. Worked my ass off, to get things done. To make things happen. Finally learnt in to do what they refer to as “Hard Work” to get what needed to be achieved certain things. But well, the results make me realize it was all full of crap. Not the hard work, but the naïve thought of results coming my way. Well, dunno when that stopped. But sure did some time back.

Things are starting to get so boring that blaming myself for all this doesn’t work either. It’s all so lame to find excuses. And man, I am running short of them. Speaking of running short of things, I can have a long list of things which should have been there, had things fallen the way it was planned. But ohh, plans?!! Who am I kidding? They don’t work for me.

I’m like a kid who is lost in zoo. A big zoo. Trying to find my way out, but have got so tired that I just sit around to take a little rest. Problem is, the “rest” part seems to be getting extended continuously with the sun going down. Its’ getting dark too. And the kid is scared. The end part of not finding a way out scares him. Not that he isn’t trying to find a way, but then he is just a kid. He did tried running around, foregoing his rest, not caring about how tired he was, or how thirsty or hungry he was, he just ran around searching for the way out.

That kid is tired.

But still trying to run around to find his way out.