Category: Random Philosophy Page 11 of 20

The Bus I cannot catch

Whenever I plan to head out to airport, which is like another city in itself, I try to catch a bus. Yaar kuch to paise bach jaen. And never have I been able to get one. Paying over 700-800 to an Uber just doesn’t sound right to me.
Usually, I’m in a hurry (..Because I’m usually late) and hence have to resort to hailing a cab, as opposed to the bus. No amount of planning has ever made it possible. Today, I thought to myself, aaj to bus me hi jaunga and spend the rest on a few over-priced cappuccino at the airport.


But then…


In my head, 11 PM was the right time to get the bus and head over. Even at the cost of sacrificing sleep which I’ve been managing at an average of 5 hours since last Friday.

Why, you ask? Well, Oscar Marathon is WIP!

Anyways, with Uber trying to be Uber-pricey, I downloaded Ola again. Yes, we have a install-uninstall sorta relationship.

Ola never disappoints. Yes, the first 2 rides were cancelled by the drivers. First, because he won’t accept Ola Money and wanted Cash and the other wasn’t excited about a trip to the airport with me. I mean, Valentine’s day hai, aaj bhi rejection? (As, if!)

Third time’s a charm, anyways. Booked the ride and started off. The driver looked excited and then I opened my laptop to write this.

Chalo, let me try out my non-existent small talk skills with him and not doze off to the wind.

Another 4-hour wait for Ammi-Abbu to arrive!

This Picture from Pondicherry

This picture is from my first solo-trip back in 2014.

Food was average and the coffee was not good. So much for the long list of reviews talking great things about this place’s food.

And more than anything, it is the food that excites me about an new place. However, in the humid-hot Pondicherry, the location of this place is agreeably satisfying. Gazing at the water with the afternoon breeze for company, it was that time of realization that I liked this. The whole circus around traveling. The good and sometimes not-so-good parts as well.

More than anything it is the headspace that a trip puts you in.

Over time, after multiple trips around the southern part of India, the realization that traveling isn’t about a Checklist. Sure, it feels amazing to boast, “I’ve covered this this and this” and I’m not saying that I don’t want to use it. However, in the rush to achieve this, it’s essential to reflect, imbibe what each place and culture offers and make it part of ourselves. Our ignorance about the “others” is more due to us not opening up to them. Travelling is one sure-shot way to make an effort in that direction. At least, for me. At this point.

I’m sure each one of us have their own reasons. And each one is legit. Even I like shuffling between the reasons I travel. Sometimes it’s just for the group of people you go with, sometimes it’s just for a vacation and sometimes a mix of it all.

Scanning through the pictures on my blog, my own pictures from the travels never really excite me as much as random snaps that just convey my headspace does. Like this picture. Just chilling.

A story to The Story

Fundamentally, most stories are similar in parts. The elements it comprises of are essentially cross similar paths in their entirety.

It is because of this reason that we can relate to atleast one or a few of those characters, their expedition from origin to completion or if not anything else, their emotions. In case we don’t see ourselves, we aspire to be one of them or even picture others we know.

All of this is from the viewer slash listener point-of-view.

When we venture to the other side. The back-end. Situation is the same. The characters are crafted upon the inspiration presented by the real life. Or the value system that aspires to be those characters. Sometimes even shades which are darker. The paint-brush is still back-stage, after all.

But not every story resonates. On occasions it does but isn’t accepted. The artists’ effort lies in making an story that he envisions into THE story. The nuances added to this transformation and how the image is conjured up, defines the story.

Everyone has a story. To the right audience, every story is interesting. But a story only becomes the story, when it can promulgate across audience sets, and still understood.

 

Lessons from the Mosque: Being thankful to parents

Jumma is the only day we get to listen to the takreer from the Imaam. I prefer the talk to be generic because more often they get diverted into sect-wise differentiation of Sunni-Wahabi. Something which should not be our priority, IMO.

As I was walking towards the mosque post a hurried lunch, I could hear him speak about paying gratitude. Gratitude to anyone who has ever helped us. Small or big. And as far as the world is concerned, who is more deserving of this gratitude than our Parents ?

From numerous incidences from hadees, he was trying to make us aware of how essential it is to pay our gratitude to them.

Modernity pushes us to think on the lines of “My life, My decisions” while trying to create a separate life from the ones who actually gave birth to us.

Now, how should we pay them back? Of course, no amount of worldly experiences can guarantee a repayment.

The Imaam had a solution in place as well by rhetorically asking a question and then answering it. (He has the mike, after all). How do we truly repay a debt ?” Apart from the actual we took from them, we remember their help. In our head, we are always willing to remember their contribution till ages. And hence, keeping just this in our heads, on what our parents have done for us, we’ll always be grateful to them and it’ll show in our actions.

It’s not like we don’t value their contributions and go on length to describe it. I’m even writing this post here! But questions on whether my actions have never hurt them or never will, still bounce around my head. How often have I made them unhappy ? Or I’m going to with each passing day ? Leave aside the ones we unknowingly make them go through with us, there are so many things we know are wrong and still do and call ourselves, Adults!

Life on my own time

So, I’m late in posting today! Not that any of you were waiting for the post to be live.

But since I’m already late and probably don’t have any specific topic to be late, why don’t I just talk about being late ?

I’m always late when going to office. And this, when in the two years of our b-school, we were made to learn, “how to be on-time”! Class starts at 9 ? No entry if it’s 9:01! Yep, that was our college.

Not that I have anything against the college because of THIS!

I remember my first Appraisal with my boss. Of all the good things she said on my work, the one “but” at the end was “how I was always late”.

Not much changed since I switched jobs and the pattern continues.

I would like to clarify that I’m not always late and do make efforts to be on-time. But then, there are just so man TV shows to watch!

I’ve been lucky enough to have bosses who get it that “some people are like that” and even though it frustrates them a little, don’t take it out on me.

And probably, unlike a lot of others, I’ve not hated both my jobs because of this reason. The flexibility.

Of course, if there’s a meeting, I do ensure I’m there. [Disclaimer: Daily Scrum Meetings are not part of this]

But being-late is not limited to work only. I have reached train stations when the train has just left the station and airports minutes before they might not allow me to board. If I’m at home, Ammi or Badi Ammi scold me enough that I reach beforehand, otherwise, the story is more or less the same.

Must admit, on occasions when I’m on time, or way before time, it is really frustrating. I just hate waiting. If I have to meet a friend, and I reach the spot before him, I end up calling them every 5 minute with varying tones of irritation.

I do love the idea of being on time, living a disciplined life, eating the right food but they just don’t seem to last long.

Things have always come to me “on their own time”. Even when I wished for something, it took its own sweet time. Over time, it has become easier to understand that things will happen when they have to. On their own time. One cannot always race against it.

Ideally, I’d love to live this life on my own time. Alas! The world, disagrees.

 

Changing Ideas and Thoughts

Have you not felt dejected on how certain sections of our society doesn’t see evil in a lot of societal customs and rituals?

How certain things which have become “normal” over the years, appear just plain wrong, and yet acceptable as a societal norm ?

Whenever we’ve allowed ourselves to open up to new ideas and immerse ourselves into new experiences, this thought has definitely crossed our minds.

However, we’ve accustomed ourselves to react to those issues or line of thought abruptly. We question those concepts in a rather negative connotation that puts the people practicing those customs on the defense. We not only end up making them feel bad for what they’re doing and shouting loudly in their heads with, “whatever you’re doing, is stupid”.

In our head, the more questions we throw towards those concepts, the more the minds of those practicing it, will open up. They’ll be able to see through our eyes.

Questioning is good. And it definitely works as well.

But it isn’t easy to shred through age-old concepts with just questioning. More often, these make people defensive and the questions become a sign of disrespect.

Imagine questioning your grandmother on something you don’t agree with. You get the picture, don’t you ?

We should treat everyone who doesn’t agree to shun practices that aren’t right but part of their khaandan ki parampara (Traditions carried forward by generations) or as my grandma would say, “baap dada ke zamaane se” (From the times of your great grandfather)

The only way to convince is to explain with love, on how something isn’t right. Our thought process can be put forward in front of them, but with love.

I was watching a Youtube video of Aamir Khan being interviewed for a “Women in the World” conference where he talks about Satyameva Jayate. He goes onto describe the process of conceptualizing the show, and says that they place a huge emphasis on hitting emotional notes to make people change the “normal”. You can watch it here:

This talk gives you an insight on how to make a larger issue heard and make people understand, shouting or ridiculing them isn’t the answer.

When we question people on their support or the lack of it for an idea or a personality, in a rather negative manner, they end up developing a defensive wall and worse case, they’ll even start an attack on your ideas to counter it.

Of course, we cannot change anything if people don’t want to, but if we intend to see a change, we should always try the Grandma approach of explaining to them with love.

What are your thoughts on this?

[Read similar other posts in this section called: Random Philosophy]

Why Superiority complex is the root of all problems

I logged onto Airbnb (https://goo.gl/ZO2cdz) to check for accommodations and the first message I get is a non-discriminatory message that I have to “Agree” to.

“We believe that no matter who you are, where you are from, or where you travel, you should be able to belong in the Airbnb community. By joining this community, you commit to treat all fellow members of this community, regardless of race, religion, national origin, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation or age, with respect, and without judgment or bias.”

It’s been a while since I used Airbnb after a not-so good experience in Goa last year. But i was pleasantly surprised by this and felt good.

But as you know, there’ always a reason behind messages like these. For some reason, this news had skipped through my social circle.

So, here’s what had happened, when a certain Gregory Selden’s request to book a room for his travel to Philadelphia was denied. However, when he created two fake profiles that purported to be white men after he realized the room was still available. Both of these profiles, upon sending a booking request, were accepted. [Source: http://www.triplepundit.com/2016/10/airbnb-users-must-agree-non-discrimination-pledge-week/]

Wow!

I’ve always wondered how and what makes certain people feel “superior” to others based on any factor. Especially the ones for which they didn’t have to move a brick. Any other form of discrimination arising out of this “superiority complex” is a big threat. There’s a very thin line between being proud and this trait. This is the root of everything.

We tend to think we are not like this. But on introspection, we come to know how deep-rooted these thoughts are in the society. The problem is, we don’t see this as “wrong”.

 

The fear of the Unknown

I’m currently utilizing my free-month-subscription from Amazon and in the course of it, started watching “The Good Wife”. It is engaging and good in parts. Just another one of those American Law-dramas. Although, I’m still in season 1, and should not speculate.

In one of the episodes, a teenager gifts a Music Casette to another, claiming that his parents will agree to anything if he starts listening to this! He needs a little rebellion in life. Now, what’s this ?

It is the Azaaan. Or as they referred it as, “Islamic Music” in the show.

A paranoid grandmother complains to her grand-daughther about the incident and how she should take the children more often to the Church.

The other puts on a smile. And so did I.

It is funny.

However, it makes me realize how paranoid people can be. It doesn’t take much for people to become afraid of any idea. What they don’t understand, they fear.

Everytime someone wants to talk about Islam, I’m more than happy to explain whatever little I know. More often, because of these questions, I learn more about it. But I do sense a lot of hesitance in people whenever they start asking a question. The often used, “You don’t mind me asking this, right” is quite normal.

But then why won’t it be ? A lot of people shy away from talking about “complex” things. They fear they’ll be misunderstood. People are hesitant to ask, thinking about the very same thing. It works both ways.

This hesitance gives rise to fear which then gives way to hate. And we all know how that’s turning out to be.

 

Delhi Travelogue: The Wazoo Khana

wazoo khana mosque

The Wazoo-Khaana.

While walking towards Humayun’s fort, I walked into this mosque to offer Zohar prayers. Old, not-taken care of, withered over time and hardly anyone at the mosque. The Wazoo-khana at the mosque reminded me of innumerable other mosques of the yesteryears. Now, they all have swanky tile-fitted-running-water wazoo khanas. Don’t mistake me for speaking of this modernization in a dismissive tone. I’m more of a purist and cherish the sacrilege-like feeling associated with a Wazoo khana. 

A good number of mosques still have this, but perhaps I rarely visit the ones which don’t have a tap running with a board mentioning, “Wazoo ka paani zyaya na karen.. Paani Allah ki rehmat hai”. Only to see people read it while water while the water flows out at speed faster than their reading.

Anyways, at this mosque, one needed to take out water from the adjacent well, fill it out in the badna and then perform wazoo.

Every-time the mosque near my office runs out of water and the water-tanker doesn’t arrive, we have to take two small mugs, out of a bucket of water, for use. Inconvenient. But we all end up saving almost half the water we’d normally use.

And more importantly, we read the signage: “Wazoo ka paani zyaya na karen.. Paani Allah ki rehmat hai” without letting the water flow away down the drain.

Post offering the prayers at this mosque, everyone gave me sort-of welcome smile. As if they recognized that I’m not from the place. Probably, I clicked a lot of pictures to make sure of that.

The mosque I was talking Masjid Khairul Manzil. You can read about the mosque in this post about Delhi’s architectural marvels, here.

The Missing Puzzle Piece

You know how when a cut or a wound, once it starts healing, gives us this strong urge to scratch it ? Even when there’s a plaster, the urge persists.

We cannot stop ourselves from scratching it and sometimes even making it worse.

The symmetry between the wounds that bleed and the ones that leave imaginary scares is profound. Time and again, we love to scratch them to re-live it. Re-live the pain.

And it doesn’t take more than a conversation to spring that thought back to life. It’s all etched in a corner and comes bouncing out from the vacuum that persists. The puzzle pieces are irreplaceable. Fitting a new one, no matter how perfect it is, is not possible.

We need to clean up the slate and create a new puzzle. Difficult ? Yes! But much better to start a new puzzle than assume trying to find the perfect piece to replace is better. It is not. We may think that only the missing piece has to be replaced but the entire board has changed. The puzzle isn’t the same anymore. The lost piece, (Yes, stop terming it missing, it is lost), took a lot of other pieces along with it.

Whether it was for good or not, is just not the right question. Is this question even help, is he question.

Let’s build new puzzles. Shall we ?

 

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