Boats, Terror and Biryani

Have you ever had the urge to be a terrorist? Leave aside trying to contact ISIS, there is an easy way!!

1. Wriggle around a high-security area acting as if you are carrying something “suspicious”.

2. You can speed up the process by declaring your love for Biryani.

Hawww, you think I’m Joking?

Well, as far as the psych observation of our beloved Defense minister of India, Mr. Manohar Parrikar is concerned Yes, you can.

Let’s get you the details of the “Terror Boat” incident through statements not by me (Not a great “observer” you know)

The “Terror” Boat from Pakistan

On January 3, Kuldip Singh Sheoran, Commander, Indian Coast Guard (North West), Gandhinagar, told The Indian Express: “After we had covered them from the air and the sea, the suspects blew up the boat… suddenly a ball of fire rose into the air and the boat was aflame.”

Something fishy? Of course! What and why they blew up? No, no one has any clue. No proof of anything found.

Our Defense Minister then issues the statement, patting the intelligence and Coasts guard, and at the same time positioning India to be a place where security is taken seriously. At least by this new government.

So on January 5, Defence Minister Manohar Parrikar said: “A normal boat, even carrying some drugs, can throw away their drugs and surrender. No one is going to be killing himself unless you are motivated enough to do that… As per our information, the boat was under our surveillance for over 12 hours — probably for more than a day — stationed there in one position… (I am) not speculating that it had explosives, but it had some activity in mind that does not fit the description of a smuggling boat. Which smuggler would commit suicide?”

Manohar “keen-observer” parrikar

Mmmm. So, there is no proof that there were explosives but you are speculating (while telling us, you’re not)?

Why cannot this be just a smuggling boat? Because it won’t make a good story to establish India (and more importantly this government) as some “hero”?

Three naval officers told The Indian Express it was inconceivable that Pakistani fishing boats — typically four-crew vessels, with an average length of fewer than 25 meters and equipped with 80-220 horsepower diesel engines, or smaller mechanized sailboats with 30 horsepower engines — could outrun the Coast Guard’s state-of-the-art ships.

The important point here. Our Coast guard can’t even outrun those fishing boats. Is it?

“I’ve been talking to our people in the area”, said Narsibhai Jungi Jadeja, the head of the Porbandar fishing boat owners’ association, “and everyone insists they didn’t see a thing. That surprises me because a fire at night would be visible many nautical miles away”. “I just hope the government clears up the mystery over this because if any Pakistani fishermen have been killed, the Pakistan navy will take vengeance on us,” he said.

Now, amid all this boat blowing itself up and calling it a terror boat even without any proof, comes a shocking statement from Coast Guard official DIG B K Loshali. He said, “I said at night, blow the boat off…We don’t want to serve them biryani…”

Indian Coast Guard DIG B K Loshali boasting about the terror boat incident

Okay, so the boat was blown off by Coast Guard, while the ministry issued the statement that the “terrorists” blew themselves? And all this because they didn’t want to serve Biryani?

Kaunsi aisi biryani khilate ho bhai aap log ?

It is not as if the smugglers’ good people or they should be treated with “biryani” (If that is the worry). But imagine when the same happens when our fishermen wander into their territory too? If fabricating a war-like situation to divert the attention of people and keep your government intact is the “big picture” you are thinking of, then well you are going in the right direction.

This Manish Tewary tweet throws up an interesting similarity between the Gujarat Fake encounters and the terror boat incident.

Contd. them out of water Uncanny similarities to similar modus operandi the fake encounter syndrome to bolster machismo & build Alpha image

— Manish Tewari (@ManishTewari) February 18, 2015

It would be commendable if it was indeed a terror boat, but why should such contradictory statements arise? It’s a matter of serious introspection. I Hope, the ministry discusses the issue and probes the matter over biryani. Or even a “chai pe charcha” would do.