Monotonous life. Confused soul. Pessimistic approach. Tough luck.

Throw them all in, and that’s how I might define the bag full of specifications that the package called life brings along with it. Throw in some terrible mood swings and you have the perfect recipe for an eventual disaster waiting to happen.

I might sound a little out of sync, maybe a little too whiny as well but that’s how the truth is trying to pour out. Lucky enough that there is only a leakage, otherwise it may burst out and spread the whole mess.

Difficult to paint a picture through words, and if I try to do that, chances are you might not like the painting. But then, who am I kidding ? I’ve actually stopped giving a damn!! Unless of course, you happen to be from my family, and if you are reading this, I’m sure you aren’t from there.

Would have added an apologetic sorry up there, but then I ask myself, why should I? I stand to receive more than a dozen of them but have no doubt that I won’t get any of them. Yes, I do expect a lot from people. High time, I start that with myself.

Not that I didn’t tried, I did. I effing did. Worked my ass off, to get things done. To make things happen. Finally learnt in to do what they refer to as “Hard Work” to get what needed to be achieved certain things. But well, the results make me realize it was all full of crap. Not the hard work, but the naïve thought of results coming my way. Well, dunno when that stopped. But sure did some time back.

Things are starting to get so boring that blaming myself for all this doesn’t work either. It’s all so lame to find excuses. And man, I am running short of them. Speaking of running short of things, I can have a long list of things which should have been there, had things fallen the way it was planned. But ohh, plans?!! Who am I kidding? They don’t work for me.

I’m like a kid who is lost in zoo. A big zoo. Trying to find my way out, but have got so tired that I just sit around to take a little rest. Problem is, the “rest” part seems to be getting extended continuously with the sun going down. Its’ getting dark too. And the kid is scared. The end part of not finding a way out scares him. Not that he isn’t trying to find a way, but then he is just a kid. He did tried running around, foregoing his rest, not caring about how tired he was, or how thirsty or hungry he was, he just ran around searching for the way out.

That kid is tired.

But still trying to run around to find his way out.