Blank.

It’s blank.

A blank document to start writing with. How I wish, I could just start off my life afresh just like this blank document. A fresh start. A clean slate. Call it whatever, but yes a part of me wishes at this moment that I could do that.

It is said, we learn from our mistakes, from our decisions, experiences. All true.

A fair share of my learning is from these experiences, mistakes and decisions. Their share is so much; that I wonder what would have happened if I had counted them all.

Khair, it has been tough. But then life gives lemons to everyone. It is what you do with those lemons that actually count.

Nobody is untouchable to troubles. It is that universal “gift” which is added to our grocery list regularly. More regularly than the “Eclairs” which is now the undoubted substitute for all the change the retailer has to give back to you.

The vague purpose in everyone’s life is a reminder of how uncertain we ourselves make our lives to be. It’s understood that a lot of it is out of bounds for us, but life still gives us moments where we choose. Moments, where we make decisions. Decisions, which have consequences and ones which we shouldn’t repeat if the similar ones haven’t gone down well in the past.

But then, Welcome to the complicated idea called life (More complicated than Women).

Life, as we try knowing more about it, changes.

I’ve always tried taking control of these changes that happen in life. Planning is one thing, having a backup plan is another, which had created the illusion of me, having taken control of many of these changes.

When realization struck (pretty hard), I guess it was too late (An optimistic voice in me still shouts, “Is it?”).

Even the smallest of our decisions have their impacts. We don’t realize them at that point in time, but when the moment of truth comes knocking. It all adds up, and many a times it is not a rosy picture that gets painted in front of our eyes.

It is all confusing, whether to think before we do even the simplest of things or just go with the flow. If you are confused too, then don’t look at me for answers, coz I ain’t got any. No one’s got any. It is we, who make our choices and we have to live with it. We may rue, we may crib and do 100 odd things just to get that feeling out from our systems, but that is all what we’ve got.

I started writing with a blank document and now finishing with words. And yet, as ironic as it may sound, I’m still blank. I’m empty.