There’s an inherent need of most of our elders to “please people”. “What will people say” holds the supreme status in all their lives more than anything else.
Sure, in a lot of cases this gets passed on to others in the lineage as well.
I’m not able to clearly analyze the degree of this “what will people say” is part of my psyche, but I’m sure it is lower than our previous generation.
What irks me more is how we cannot convince our elders to let this go. We just cannot. Even when they don’t like certain people, they just cannot stop themselves from “not being nice” to them. I mean, come on! You told me you don’t like them! And yet?!
We cannot please everyone. Actually, can or cannot shouldn’t even be there. We don’t need to please everyone.
But, hey! Duniyadari nibhaana is one of the may jargons which elders throw at us. Even CXO’s in our offices don’t use that many jargons as elders do in the name of “tradition”.
“Badon se sawal nahi karte”, “hamare khaandan me chale aaya hai” or “aajkal ke bache.. badon ki sunte kahan” are few of the amazing gems which does the round in a family like mine. I’m sure similar terminologies would have been thrown at you, along with whatever, your mom could grab from the kitchen.
As an after-thought, I do wonder whether this is more of an age issue than a generational one, though. But till the time, I get older, lets keep it this way.
And just to reiterate my rant, We cannot please everyone. We don’t have to.