The more one indulges in procrastination in writing, the longer it takes to get the mojo back. Not that your head doesn’t brim up with ideas for a new post, but none of those seem good enough. There’s always that hesitation that puts up a red light in your way. You wait. And then get tired of the wait. Change course to find a new way towards your destination. Every post in your draft is a testimony to this ‘wait-and-change’ phenomenon.
Irrespective of where you are on the road, expecting red lights to pop up without warning, is ironically expected. The smart thing is always to choose a time when there is less traffic. The pauses in your life must be leveraged to steer you towards the ideal destination.
As far as the horizon allows you to see. Filled with uncertainty and yet the promise of displacing you from your current state. Change is better (maybe). Or at least it promises to be better. And perhaps that’s the whole game.
When you read more (the good stuff) and invariably compare your own (the yet to be good stuff), it worries you. Makes you think, will THIS ever be good enough?
I’m not even bringing in the perspectives of others, on how they find your writing to be, it’ll always be a mixed bag. Your own process, swinging in your head, automatically triggers you to judge your own writing. Helplessly, you heave a sigh! Tired of trying to match up. Crawling uphill on bare feet when the world zooms past you in their fancy motors. Blowing away their 2-cent wisdom on your face.
You, of course, don’t give a damn. Because you convince yourself that you’re here for the longer run. It is a marathon and not a sprint. You’ll be the tortoise.