One can never get completely empty. Neither our mind goes this way, nor our hearts. But there are times, when it’s all blank and even the fillers, which makes the emptiness go away or atleast help adjust to a bearable ratio dies down. Probably with too much work being the filler of late to ward off the empty vessel that my mind has become. Hard-work is what they don’t like, I suppose.
Wandering around with this new-found emptiness, I simply cannot decide as to whether look for the fillers or do something to change things altogether. I’d like to think, that I should focus on the big picture and so, a complete change is what I should seek. Is it?
Well, easier said than done. And tougher imagined and achieved. Or is it?
A long walk down the street, filled with noise. Noise, I don’t relate to. Laughs I despise. Looks which disinvite me from them. Overthinking my way towards the coffee shop, a bakery as many would call it. I rest that emptiness down.
Where have I come?
This wasn’t meant to end like this, this wasn’t supposed to be part of the plan which the puzzle I went ahead to solve. It looked so easy, almost enticing me towards it. Was this a trick, which seduced me into making me throw down everything I had, all on my face like this? Like punishing me for being optimistic or overzealous?
Kind of tough to put all this down into words, tougher to even correlate the pieces of the broken dreams shattered all across the floor on which I have been thrown upon. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be, maybe this was not the path that was to be taken, when the choice was to be made or maybe it’s all part of a mistake for which I’m being made to pay. My choice. My mistake. And my payments.
“Maybe” is a confusing word. Maybe this, maybe that.
Well, not just this, a lot of things right now are confusing.
I am the biggest confusion that I have now.
To me, I am my biggest problem.
But then, the only reason that makes me remain in my senses is; only I am my Solution.